Interesting. I just dated (and broke up with - for other reasons) an anxious dater. He always said that the reason his relationships ended was because he was, in his words, 'too much.' Unfortunately, he didn't/hadn't taken steps to mitigate it. Or rather, as a friend would say, he spilled all that anxiety on to me. I took too many hours to respond to a text (you know while I was working), he'd spin off the rails and I'd receive a 1000 word email about how he was going to have to break up with me because I was ignoring him (on a Tuesday). I think there are a lot of anxious daters out there, but I think you're right that the anxious person has to realize it and take steps to mitigate their actions/responses because it can feel like too much.
Of course, I'll admit to being avoidant so of course, I get all the anxious people who push my buttons in the same way I push theirs.
Interesting. I just dated (and broke up with - for other reasons) an anxious dater. He always said that the reason his relationships ended was because he was, in his words, 'too much.' Unfortunately, he didn't/hadn't taken steps to mitigate it. Or rather, as a friend would say, he spilled all that anxiety on to me. I took too many hours to respond to a text (you know while I was working), he'd spin off the rails and I'd receive a 1000 word email about how he was going to have to break up with me because I was ignoring him (on a Tuesday). I think there are a lot of anxious daters out there, but I think you're right that the anxious person has to realize it and take steps to mitigate their actions/responses because it can feel like too much.
Of course, I'll admit to being avoidant so of course, I get all the anxious people who push my buttons in the same way I push theirs.