You're Not "Needy" + A Journal Prompt
Hey, hopeful romantic!
A common theme I hear from anxious daters is that they feel “needy” or like they’re too much.
Yet, if we dig a little deeper, all they’re asking for are basic emotional needs like communication, connection, and respect.
Doesn’t sound very needy to me.
It turns out, the reason anxious daters think this about themselves has nothing to do with the need, and everything to do with a few other things.
But first…
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There are several reasons someone may feel “needy” when asking for what they want:
They dated an emotionally unavailable person who labeled the anxious person as “needy.”
The anxious person isn’t communicating their need in the right way.
The anxious person doesn’t have the confidence to realize they deserve to have their needs met.
What makes matters worse is that the more a need goes unmet, the stronger that need becomes.
If you feel disconnected from your partner, but every time you bring it up they brush off your concerns, the more you’ll crave closeness.
As the book Attached wrote: You’re only as needy as your unmet need.
Now that we’ve gone over how needs are totally normal, I have a journal prompt for you.
Needs Journal Prompt:
In the morning, when you first wake up, grab a pen and paper so you can write down your answer to these questions:
What needs do I have for today? How can I meet them? How can I ask for my partner/friend/family to meet them?
If you’re unsure what your needs are, here’s a great list of common needs.
Answering this prompt in the morning strengthens the muscle of being naturally attuned to your needs.
Plus, you’ll build self-trust because you start to rely on yourself to get your needs met.
Give the prompt a try and let me know how it goes!
Until next week!
All the love,
Kirstie
My Links:
If you want to feel more secure in your love life, check out my Anxious Attachment Workshop.
Did you know I wrote a book about love? Grab your copy here.
Check out my live dating show every Thursday at 5:30 pm PST!
Content You’ll Love:
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Four Strangers Talk About Love
How to Love Yourself For Real, According to Therapists
The Key to Escaping the Couple-Envy Trap
How Soon Is *Too Soon* To Say ‘I Love You’?
Should we stop saying "if he wanted to he would"?
How to Have a Long, Happy Relationship Backed by Research
Hi! I’m Kirstie
I help anxious people who don’t feel good enough for love understand their worth and find fulfilling love.
For over a decade, I was in one relationship after another with people who mistreated me or were emotionally unavailable. All of that ended when I took a year break from dating and read a book called Attached.
Learning about attachment styles changed my life. It opened doors like discovering my lack of boundaries and inability to ask for my needs to be met.
Today, I write and coach to help people through the same journey. You don’t have to feel so anxious, insecure, and uncertain when it comes to love.
I want to help you feel confident and find the love you deserve.
Want to learn more about working with me? Book a discovery call.