Your "Clinginess" is Actually a Great Thing
Hey hopeful romantic,
How many times has someone told you “you have too many emotions,” or you’re “too needy?” Maybe you even dated someone who’d sigh whenever you brought up something in the relationship.
You equated that your emotional needs = there’s something wrong with you.
But I’m here to tell you that’s not the case.
Before we jump into why you’re not clingy, let’s talk about my anxious attachment workshop.
Do you struggle feeling confident in your love life? Are you scared everyone will leave you? Are your needs never met in your relationships?
These are all signs you may have an anxious attachment. And while that might feel like a death sentence, I promise you it’s not.
You can stop feeling like you need constant reassurance.
You can create boundaries with ease.
You can put a halt to overthinking and finally have confidence.
And it all starts with moving towards a secure attachment, which I teach in my workshop.
You’ll receive over 15 exercises on how to work towards a secure attachment that feels authentic to you. It’s a recording you can watch on your own time, and it’s only $35 until the end of the year.
It’s about time you started investing in yourself (especially since it’s the holidays and you deserve to get yourself a gift!). If confidence in your love life sounds like a no-brainer, click the button below.
Wanting to be emotional with another person is natural. People have a basic survival instinct to belong, love, and feel cared for.
Think about it: people who can't form emotional attachments keep people at arm’s length.
Why would you want to be like that?
The fact you can form attachments is a beautiful thing. Expressing and tapping into your emotions is a skillset most people spend a lot of money on to try and improve.
Heck, you’re probably pretty empathetic, too. Which anyone would agree we need more of in this world.
But now you might be thinking, “then why do my emotions cause so many issues?”
Well, the answer is two-fold.
Chances are that your emotions scare off the people you date. They struggle to form attachments, and intimacy doesn’t come easy for them. Naturally, their behaviors make you feel like you’re the issue (even if they don’t mean to).
You may also suffer from a scarcity mindset; you worry that if something goes wrong with the person you’re currently dating, you may end up alone forever.
A scarcity mindset is why people quickly attach to someone new or stay in relationships far longer than they should.
Does that sound like you?
Next week, I’ll talk more about a scarcity mindset and ways you can begin to overcome one.
In the meantime, feel free to reply with questions about a scarcity mindset, and I’ll make sure to answer them in next week’s newsletter.
Until next week!
All the love,
Kirstie
My Links:
If you want to feel more secure in your love life, check out my Anxious Attachment Workshop.
Did you know I wrote a book about love? Grab your copy here.
Not scared to wear your feelings on your sleeve? Check out my clothing line.
Have a dating/relationship question? Send it into my advice column.
Content You’ll Love:
Dating Podcast: We Were on a Break!
What a Healthy Relationship Looks Like with Jamie & Taylor
Asymmetric Relationships Aren’t Typically Healthy
Couples Therapy or Nah? Ft. Dating & Relationship Writer Kirstie Taylor
6 Signs Someone is Emotionally Attracted to You
Relationship Stress at a High? Try Spending Time With Friends
Hi! I’m Kirstie
I help anxious people feel more confident in their love lives.
For over a decade I was in one relationship after another with people who mistreated me or were emotionally unavailable. All of that ended when I took a year break from dating and read a book called Attached.
Learning about attachment styles changed my life. It opened doors like discovering my lack of boundaries and inability to ask for my needs to be met.
Today, I write (and soon, coach) to help people through the same journey I went through. You don’t have to feel so anxious, insecure, and uncertain when it comes to love.
I want to help you feel confident and find the love you deserve.