You Are Not Your Anxious Thoughts
Hey hopeful romantic,
Anxious thoughts are a b*tch. They make us think about all these worst-case scenarios and can have us worrying for hours over something we can’t control.
What’s worse is that anxious thoughts FEEL like a part of us, even though that’s far from the case.
So let’s talk about how to separate your thoughts from your sense of identity.
But first: Have a specific question you want to be answered by me?
Then join me live tonight at 5:30 pm PST!
I’ll be live for an hour, answering everyone’s questions!
See you tonight!
There are plenty of books that talk about naming that voice inside your head that says things like “you’re not worthy of love” or “why would anyone love you?”
The Untethered Soul and Positive Intelligence are great books for that if you’re interested in reading more about your inner critic.
So start with naming that voice that has all of those anxious thoughts. You can give it a person’s name or call it something like The Judge.
Then, follow these steps:
Recognize: Notice the thought is there. If you’re not used to regularly checking in with your thoughts and feelings, either set a timer or use an activity as a marker to ask yourself what your inner critic is currently thinking (like opening the fridge or going to the bathroom).
Name: Say the thought out loud. Stating a thought takes it from your head and puts it into the physical world. You’ll find the thought instantly loses power.
Ask: And last, consider where that thought is coming from. Was it because of how your parents or an ex treated you? Maybe it’s an underlying fear that you have.
The last step I want you to do is tell yourself this: “Just because I think it doesn’t mean it’s true.”
Thoughts happen all the time, often without our control. Most are formed subconsciously, without us even trying.
But just because you think something doesn’t mean it’s a part of you.
Thoughts are just thoughts. They don’t decide who you are.
If you try this exercise out, reply to this email and let me know!
Until next week!
All the love,
Kirstie
My Links:
If you want to feel more secure in your love life, check out my Anxious Attachment Workshop.
Did you know I wrote a book about love? Grab your copy here.
Check out my live dating show every Thursday at 5:30 pm PST!
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Hi! I’m Kirstie
I help anxious people who don’t feel good enough for love understand their worth and find fulfilling love.
For over a decade, I was in one relationship after another with people who mistreated me or were emotionally unavailable. All of that ended when I took a year break from dating and read a book called Attached.
Learning about attachment styles changed my life. It opened doors like discovering my lack of boundaries and inability to ask for my needs to be met.
Today, I write and coach to help people through the same journey. You don’t have to feel so anxious, insecure, and uncertain when it comes to love.
I want to help you feel confident and find the love you deserve.
Want to learn more about working with me? Book a discovery call.