Who Are You Outside of Dating?
Hey, hopeful romantic!
A question I often get is, “what kind of people do you help with your coaching services?”
Essentially, they mean: do I help people who are single, in relationships, going through breakups, or just entering a fledgling relationship?
That’s a great question they should be asking!
And my answer is always the same: I help all of them.
You see, a lot of the work I do with my clients has nothing to do with their relationship status.
I get women coming to me who struggle with boundaries, don’t know their needs, feel unworthy of love, and struggle with limiting beliefs.
Those issues don’t depend on the status of their dating life. They’re much deeper issues.
They’re communication and identity issues.
In fact, my favorite part about coaching women is helping them realize who they are and gaining confidence outside of dating, work, other relationships, and school.
So that’s what I want to talk about today. I want to know who you are.
Now, that question might seem intimidating AF. I get it.
So I have a few questions for you to ponder:
How do you like to spend your free time? Your alone time?
What matters most to you in life? Why does that aspect of your life matter to you so much? Whatever your answer is, why is it your answer?
How would your friends describe you? What qualities do they love most about you?
Name at least ten things you love about yourself that aren’t external (like diplomas, promotions, looks, and relationships).
Your answers to these questions are important because it’s easy to tie our identity to our partner or career, but that’s unstable.
The fact is, relationship statuses change, and people get fired. You might bomb a presentation or get into a horrible argument with your partner.
Hell, if you’re single, you’ll probably get ghosted at some point.
But if you have a solid understanding of who you are, what makes you happy, and why you know you’re a great person, all that shitty stuff affects you a bit less.
And when your identity feels firm, you’re able to support yourself in other aspects of your life, like boundary building and goal setting.
So, again, who are you?
Think about that question for the next week and let me know what you come up with.
Until next week!
All the love,
Kirstie
My Links:
If you want to feel more secure in your love life, check out my Anxious Attachment Workshop.
Did you know I wrote a book about love? Grab your copy here.
Check out my live dating show every Thursday at 5:30 pm PST!
Content You’ll Love:
How To Respond To A Partner Who’s “Stonewalling” You
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What Is Love Bombing and How Is it Different From Falling in Love?
Anxious attachment style in relationships explained
When Giving Someone the ‘Benefit of the Doubt’ Is Actually a Bad Idea
Podcast: The First Conflict One
Here's How To Stop Being Codependent In Your Relationship
Hi! I’m Kirstie
I help anxious people who don’t feel good enough for love understand their worth and find fulfilling love.
For over a decade, I was in one relationship after another with people who mistreated me or were emotionally unavailable. All of that ended when I took a year break from dating and read a book called Attached.
Learning about attachment styles changed my life. It opened doors like discovering my lack of boundaries and inability to ask for my needs to be met.
Today, I write and coach to help people through the same journey. You don’t have to feel so anxious, insecure, and uncertain when it comes to love.
I want to help you feel confident and find the love you deserve.
Want to learn more about working with me? Book a discovery call.