What Triggers You? 😵💫
Hey hopeful romantic,
Every single person has something that triggers them.
For me, it’s when my boyfriend doesn’t respond to something important that I say. For him, it’s when someone’s driving slow in the far right lane (so essentially every time he drives in LA).
This week, I want to focus on your romantic triggers and the actions you do as a result, aka protest behaviors (more on that in a bit).
First, I have an exciting announcement! My Anxious Attachment Workshop is now available for download.
If you want to learn 12 different exercises to help you feel more secure and have the recorded Q&A from other anxiously attached people, then click here.
In attachment theory, protest behaviors are either attempts to reestablish or cease connection with your partner/person you’re dating.
By understanding your protest behaviors, you can better understand what triggers those actions. When you know your triggers, you can work on replacing your protest behaviors with healthy ones.
For anxiously attached people, some common protest behaviors are:
Excessive calling and texting.
Keeping score or bringing up past mistakes.
Not answering someone’s calls.
Doing things to make the other person feel jealous.
Playing games.
Picking fights.
For avoidantly attached people, protest behaviors include:
Withdrawing from your partner.
Stonewalling (silent treatment for days).
Insulting your partner.
Cutting off contact with the person you’re dating.
Making the other person feel needy.
Pushing down emotions.
Ask yourself which of these behaviors you do, and if there are any more you’d add to the list. Then when you start engaging in these, ask yourself what triggered you.
This week’s activity: Take the next week to note your triggers/protest behaviors. Write them down. Keep them in your Notes app. We’ll talk more about this in my next newsletter.
Until next week ❤️
All the love,
Kirstie
Content You’ll Love:
7 Signs of an Incompatible Relationship
6 Communication Hacks For A Thriving Relationship
8 Signs You’ll Notice If You’re In A One-Sided Relationship
The Link Between Self-Reliance and Well-Being