The Power of Saying "No" in Dating
Hey hopeful romantic,
Part of a thriving dating life is having enough energy for it to thrive.
If you’re constantly draining yourself by saying yes to things you don’t want to do or not upholding your boundaries, you’re going to feel insecure, unappreciated, and exhausted.
There’s a lot of power in saying “no” when it comes to dating.
Let’s talk about why it can be powerful for you.
You’ll feel respected.
Saying no is a form of boundary setting. If you don’t set boundaries, you’re going to start to feel disrespected, even if the other person doesn’t mean to be disrespectful.
By only saying yes to what’s within your boundaries, you’ll automatically feel more respected.
You won’t build resentment.
When you hold firmer boundaries and say no to things outside of them, you respect the other person as well.
People who tend to lean more anxious often make themselves comfortable at the sake of other’s comfort. But all that does is build resentment for the other person.
You’ll keep it real with the other person.
Imagine someone telling you yes to help you with something, merely because they don’t want to make you feel bad by saying no. That wouldn’t feel good, would it?
The same goes for when you say yes to people when you really want to say no. Be honest if you want to tell them no.
You’ll stay authentic to who you are.
The more you stray from your authentic self, the more insecure and anxious you’ll feel. By respecting when you want to say no, you stay true to your needs, desires, and boundaries.
You stay connected to your authentic self.
You’ll build trust with yourself.
Imagine if the person you trusted most (say, your friend or parent) continuously broke promises with you. It would suck, right? You’d have a hard time trusting them.
Well, that’s what happens when you’re unable to say no to people. By strengthening your “no" muscle, you build trust with yourself. And when you trust yourself, confidence will follow.
Tips for saying “no” more:
Don’t justify your “no” if it’s a boundary.
Don’t apologize for saying “no.”
Remember that you aren’t responsible for other people’s feelings and thoughts.
State your decisions confidently and kindly.
Do you struggle with saying no to people? Are you going to implement one of these tips? If so, reply to this email and let me know!
Until next week.
All the love,
Kirstie
P.S. I have 3 more spots open for 1:1 coaching.
If you want to take your power back in dating, build your self-worth, and finally find a fulfilling relationship, I can help you do that.
You can book a free discovery call here to learn more about how I can support you.
My Links:
If you want to feel more secure in your love life, check out my Anxious Attachment Workshop.
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Have a dating/relationship question? Send it into my advice column.
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Hi! I’m Kirstie
I help anxious people who don’t feel good enough for love understand their worth and find fulfilling love.
For over a decade, I was in one relationship after another with people who mistreated me or were emotionally unavailable. All of that ended when I took a year break from dating and read a book called Attached.
Learning about attachment styles changed my life. It opened doors like discovering my lack of boundaries and inability to ask for my needs to be met.
Today, I write and coach to help people through the same journey. You don’t have to feel so anxious, insecure, and uncertain when it comes to love.
I want to help you feel confident and find the love you deserve.
Want to learn more about working with me? Book a discovery call.