The Parts of You Demanding to be Loved
Hey hopeful romantics!
It’s been a bit. After two and a half years of running this newsletter, I decided to take a couple of weeks off. But now I’m back, and I have a VERY important message for you all.
But first,
If you’re struggling with overthinking, lacking confidence, creating boundaries, and asking for your needs (when it comes to dating), I have an exciting announcement!
I have one 1:1 coaching spot available for anyone who wants to feel less anxious and more secure in their love life.
Not sure if coaching is for you? Here about the benefits from one of my past clients:
Book a free discovery call here to learn more if you're interested.
Time and time again, I find that the things making my clients most anxious in their love lives are what they desperately want loved and accepted.
Take the classic case of wondering if someone should text the person they’re seeing: deciding not to causes them to overthink, worry, and not be able to focus—Aka, anxious energy.
Yet, when I dig deeper with my clients, they all want a relationship with open communication and a person who doesn’t think they’re “too much.”
But, instead of honoring that desire for connection and communication, they don’t send the text. They push down the part of them that wants to be loved, which makes their anxiety even more triggered.
Now repeat that, over and over— along with everything else they’re scared to have loved— and boom.. they feel like an anxious mess and can’t find a fulfilling relationship.
But the answer isn’t to ignore that desire for connection or to give in to the fear that they’re “too much.” The answer is to do those things anyway. Aka, to honor what their dating anxiety is trying to tell them.
Sure, it might feel scary AF, but it’s important to remember two things:
The more you ignore your desires, the more you stray away from your authentic self. (Which won’t lead to a happy relationship!)
The right relationship won’t pass you up. You can’t “scare off” the right person.
My point of saying all of this is: Send the damn text.
Ask for exclusivity. Create that boundary. Speak up for your need. Initiate—the FaceTime call.
Do whatever it is you’re feeling anxious about.
This also applies to my lovely readers in relationships, too.
I hope your weekend goes well. Until next week!
All the love,
Kirstie
My Links:
If you want to feel more secure in your love life, check out my Anxious Attachment Workshop.
Did you know I wrote a book about love? Grab your copy here.
Check out my live dating show every Thursday at 5:30 pm PST!
Content You’ll Love:
Podcast: When should I move in with my partner?
How to protect your mental health when dating
6 Reasons To Say Yes to a Second Date, Even if You Didn’t Feel an Initial Spark
How Do I Stop Fancying Someone Who Doesn’t Like Me Back?
What Even Is A Healthy Relationship?
Becoming The Person You Want To Date (With Kelly Chase)
Hi! I’m Kirstie
I help anxious people who don’t feel good enough for love understand their worth and find fulfilling love.
For over a decade, I was in one relationship after another with people who mistreated me or were emotionally unavailable. All of that ended when I took a year break from dating and read a book called Attached.
Learning about attachment styles changed my life. It opened doors like discovering my lack of boundaries and inability to ask for my needs to be met.
Today, I write and coach to help people through the same journey. You don’t have to feel so anxious, insecure, and uncertain when it comes to love.
I want to help you feel confident and find the love you deserve.
Want to learn more about working with me? Book a discovery call.