Reminders For Anxious Lovers
Hey hopeful romantic,
Since most of my readers are anxiously attached, I want to use this week’s newsletter to send out a few reminders. Mostly because anxiety can easily cloud your mind and keep you from seeing the truth.
So this week’s newsletter is for all my anxious lovers out there 💜
But first…
As a Labor Day special, I want to give all a discount on my Anxious Attachment workshop. If you want to work towards feeling more secure, this workshop is for you!
Use the code LABORDAY10 for $10 off (making the workshop only $15).
You’re not the problem your anxiety is making you think you are.
The tricky thing about anxious thoughts is that they can make us feel like the problem for everything. But, as long as you’re working on becoming more secure and try not to hurt others, don’t let those thoughts win.
You’re trying your best, and that’s perfectly OK.
If someone ghosts you, that says more about them than you.
It takes courage and emotional maturity to send a simple text to someone and let them know you don’t want to date anymore. If someone fails to do that, that’s their issue. It says nothing about you.
When your partner says you can open up to them, do it.
I receive many messages from people who are scared to push their partner away from opening up to them (even though their partner said it’s OK). While I don’t suggest dumping everything on them at once, slowly talk about the anxious thoughts you struggle with.
Part of a healthy relationship is honest communication.
There’s no such thing as “the one.”
If you’re with someone great but feel paralyzed, wondering if they’re the right one for you, let that worry go. There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship or “knowing” you’re with the person you’re meant to be with.
What creates the happiest relationships is deciding to choose each other, again and again. That’s the secret.
The best closure will always be someone who doesn’t choose you.
Circling back to thinking you’re the problem and wanting answers, not getting closure will potentially drive you insane. But, at the end of the day, you shouldn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you.
That’s the best closure you’ll ever get.
Your needs are valid.
Things like emotional intimacy, wanting reassurance now and then, and having open communication aren’t “needy.” Your needs are completely rational, regardless of what your anxiety or someone you dated in the past told you.
Love is a high-risk but high-reward journey.
Your anxious attachment might leave you scared to date, especially if you’ve been hurt in the past. The truth is, no amount of writing from other people or me can keep you from getting hurt. Love is a vulnerable experience. You’ll always risk getting hurt.
But the potential for something amazing is well worth it.
Content You’ll Love:
Ask iris: "My boyfriend looks at nudes online and it makes me insecure"
How To Have The “What Are We?” Convo In A Situationship
Confessions of a Reformed Ghoster