Love Really is a Numbers Game
Hey hopeful romantic,
Do you ever feel exhausted when it comes to dating? Or maybe there’s an infinite number of profiles to swipe on, yet no one is good out there?
That’s because dating (and finding long-term love) is a numbers game. Hear me out.
When I say “game,” I don’t mean the horrid dating practice of “playing games.” What I mean is you have to date quite a few people to find someone great. And that’s because of a few reasons:
Many people aren’t invested. It’s effortless to download an app, talk to people, close the app and not get on it for weeks. The same goes for going on first dates; they don’t take much energy.
But, if you (as someone who is invested) takes that behavior personally, you’re bound to lose hope. You’ll equate that person’s lack of dating investment as something wrong with you.
Even though they’re not at the same point in life as you.Timing matters. A lot. I once ended things with my current boyfriend. When we first tried dating, I wasn’t feeling it and told him so after three dates.
He was such a healthy communicator and emotionally stable; I didn’t find that attractive. I hand’t done enough work on myself to get rid of old dating patterns.
But several months later, I was ready. I decided to invest all of my dating energy in my boyfriend, and we gave things another shot. Timing really is half of the equation when it comes to forming a relationship.You’re simply bound to meet a lot of wrongs. Regardless of all the pitfalls of modern dating, finding someone you match with is bound to take time.
Plus, you usually don’t know what you don’t want from dating until you actually experience it.
I talk a lot about making dating as fun of a process as you can. Planning first dates you actually enjoy helps. Also, still investing time into things that make you happy and seeing your friends is key.
Love isn’t something you can rush, especially with how things are set up nowadays. So the best thing you can do for yourself is to try and enjoy the journey along the way.
This week’s assignment: What’s your self-care dating plan? What’re you going to commit to doing to make sure you don’t become worn out by dating? Or, if you’re in a relationship, what helps you feel most like yourself in your relationship?
Until next week!
All the love,
Kirstie
Do you wish the communication in your relationship was better? Do you want to feel more understood; more on the same page?
Then I have the perfect workshop for you!
I’m hosting a live workshop about healthy communication. The workshop includes recent relationship studies, exercises, and tips to help you feel more heard in your relationship.
Like last time, tickets are limited, so make sure to grab yours soon!
Also, if you can’t make the live workshop, I will send out a recording after.
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