Love At First Zoom

May 07, 2020

Hey everyone,

It's looking like our time in lockdown may have an end in sight (*she says, potentially too soon*). I hope you're all managing to stay sane during all of this.

I've been chugging away at my book. I made a personal goal for myself during quarantine to write at least 1,000 words towards my book, M-F. It's proving effective, seeing as I haven't missed a single day.

I've also been both the interviewee and interviewer in which I'm having fascinating discussions about love and dating during our current climate. One biggest struggle I've been hearing about people having is dating during the coronavirus. Specifically, how f*cking weird it is.

So this week, I want to talk about virtual dating, the kind that goes beyond just dating apps.

It would be an understatement to say that the coronavirus is changing the way we date. Money and sex are no longer a factor in dating dynamics. People are forced to take things slow, for once. In my opinion, this is all great for the sake of getting to know someone. I think IRL interaction is key for creating a relationship that will last. But connecting on an emotional level is a chance to build a solid foundation for that relationship.

When you're forced to date online, you're forced to think more creatively. You have to learn the art of using your words to charm someone, which I know doesn't come easy for most. But with a will, there's a way.

And maybe I can help show you the way.

Here are a few tips for upping your verbal communication game:

Don't dive into the deep topics straight off

Getting to know someone better involves a level of comfort and trust between the two people. As much as I believe it's important to skip past the small talk, it's also important to know what the other person does for work, what hobbies they love, and more about their family.

Be honest about who you are

There's no need to act like someone you're not. When you're first beginning to date is when you set the relationship dynamics. Acting like someone you're not will set a tone for the relationship and won't be easy to change in the future.

Don't shy away from sharing your hopes and fears

Once a level of trust and familiarity has been established, don't shy away from opening up. You can both talk about how the coronavirus has affected your lives, what stressors are coming up for you, and what you look forward to most once the lockdown is over.

Have fun with it

Doing a video call for a first date is pretty weird compared to what we're used to. Be honest about that. There's no need to act super serious with this weird predicament we've all found ourselves in. Chances are your date is feeling the same hesitations as you.

If you're still nervous about a virtual first date, fear not! Here are some activity ideas you can do during your date, instead of awkwardly staring at yourself on Zoom.

A Few Virtual Date Ideas

Never Have I Ever

You might be thinking, whoa, not first date appropriate, but take out any questions about sexual/dating history. Instead, opt for facts like, never have I ever been to South America. It's a great way to get to know someone's past while they also learn a little about yours.

Online Games

I am anti-gaming playing unless it's the fun kind. There are a few companies that make it easy to connect with someone anywhere in the world to play a game of scrabble or Pictionary. My boyfriend and I love QuizUp. Words with Friends is also a classic.

Wine Tasting

Tell each other to buy one of their favorite wines or something they've never tried. Then open your bottles together and pretend to be sommeliers. Talk about what you like and don't like about the wine. Make some recommendations on ones you do like.

Do A Museum Tour

A few museums are doing virtual tours of their exhibits right now. The Van Gogh Museum, The Getty, Musée D'Orsay, and the Metropolitan Museum all have ways of viewing their exhibits virtually.

Some helpful content…

Read a slew of dating experiences people are having and be happy you're not having a first date like this couple. If there were a book on dating during the lockdown, this would be it. This article is for those wondering if they should text their ex. And if you make it past the first date, and wonder what to say after, try these.

Until next week... stay sane & healthy.

All the love,

Kirstie