Let's Create Abundance In Your Life
Hey, hopeful romantic!
A follower on Instagram asked me to write about a scarcity mindset this week— which is very close to my heart— so let’s do this!
But real quick: I’m going live on my dating show in 2 hours at 5:30 pm PST.
I’m going over common/popular dating advice and discussing whether it’s helpful or complete 💩.
Plus, it’ll be interactive. So you can chime in with your opinion!
At its core, a scarcity mindset is when you believe there is a limited supply of something.
For anxious lovers, it’s usually that we think there are only so many suitable matches for us out there.
This is wild to think since the people a scarcity mindset convinces us to stay with aren’t even good matches for us most of the time.
I remember being in a relationship with my best friend’s old roommate (not my best idea). We argued often, he’d stonewall me for days, and I felt like my worst self with him.
Yet, I stayed.
Why?
Because I was terrified that I’d never find someone else to be with! I figured, “well, this is good enough.”
Spoiler: that relationship was far from “enough,” and I did end up finding someone I was much happier with.
A scarcity mindset usually stems from fear and a lack of self-worth. Maybe you felt unloved as a child, or a traumatic relationship left your confidence in shreds.
Because of that, the idea of finding a healthy, happy relationship sounds impossible.
But that’s simply your mindset. And having that mindset will literally change the choices you make and the actions you take.
Like staying in a relationship with your best friend’s roommate who treats you like an option triggers your anxious attachment like crazy.
So what’s the opposite of a scarcity mindset?
An abundant mindset.
With an abundant mindset, you believe there will always be more opportunities out there for love.
And because you believe that, you act in a way that aligns with this mindset.
You don’t obsess over someone just after one date.
You’re not settling because someone met two things on your list.
You uphold boundaries and ask for your needs.
You wait until you find the person you’re truly happy with.
So how can you begin to cultivate an abundant mindset? Here are a few tips:
Recognize that you have a scarcity mindset. Self-awareness goes a long way when it comes to changing beliefs.
Get clear on what a healthy, fulfilling relationship would look like for you. How would you feel? What qualities would your partner have?
Visualize that ideal relationship when you begin having doubts or feeling like you should settle. Then make choices that align with leading you to that future partnership.
Create more love in your life. You may have heard people say, “fill up your cup first,” which applies here. If you feel desperate for a relationship because it’s your single source of joy, focus on other areas of your life like hobbies, friends, and community.
Replace your limiting thoughts. Even if you don’t believe them at first, replacing “I’ll never find someone” with “there are plenty of opportunities for love out there” can make a huge difference in your love life.
Of course, all of those tips will take time and patience.
Remember to be kind to yourself. Time and time again, I hear coaching clients beat themselves up for not being perfect.
But the fact is: no one is perfect. We’re all learning and growing.
Cultivating an abundant mindset will take time, but you’ll get there with practice.
As always, reply with your thoughts about a scarcity and abundance mindset! I’d love to hear from you!
Until next week!
All the love,
Kirstie
My Links:
If you want to feel more secure in your love life, check out my Anxious Attachment Workshop.
Did you know I wrote a book about love? Grab your copy here.
Check out my live dating show every Thursday at 5:30 pm PST!
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Hi! I’m Kirstie
I help anxious people who don’t feel good enough for love understand their worth and find fulfilling love.
For over a decade, I was in one relationship after another with people who mistreated me or were emotionally unavailable. All of that ended when I took a year break from dating and read a book called Attached.
Learning about attachment styles changed my life. It opened doors like discovering my lack of boundaries and inability to ask for my needs to be met.
Today, I write and coach to help people through the same journey. You don’t have to feel so anxious, insecure, and uncertain when it comes to love.
I want to help you feel confident and find the love you deserve.
Want to learn more about working with me? Book a discovery call.
Me,yes .Long life for you miss Teilor