Introducing: The Confidence List
Hey hopeful romantic,
Last night I held my first workshop online about feeling more secure in an anxious attachment. Luckily, my nerves didn’t get the best of me and things went well! Plus, people asked some really great questions.
If you attended, thank you! If you didn’t but wish you had, there are still tickets available for the second date of this workshop. I’ll be sending out a recording after, as well, for everyone who can’t attend live.
In this week’s newsletter, I’m focusing on one of the many exercises I talked about in my workshop: the confidence list.
If you struggle with an anxious attachment or feeling insecure in your love life, you most likely have low self-esteem.
For me, I thought the people I dated would leave me at any moment because I didn’t believe I was all that great. Why have me when there are hundreds of other women a mere swipe away?
And those thoughts weren’t reserved solely for my single life; my insecurities wreaked havoc on my relationships, too. I’d flip my sh*t internally whenever my partners and I argued because I was terrified they’d leave.
Both of those experiences boiled down to one thing: my confidence was basically non-existent.
Now, I don’t want to act like I’m now a Beyoncé-like presence wherever I go. But I’ve gotten to the point that I know my worth, and I interact with people based on that, my boyfriend included.
So when you feel like you don’t bring anything to the table or your partner will find someone better, I want you to be slightly more prepared with a confidence list.
You can create this list on a piece of paper or in your Notes app. Preferably the latter, since our phones are glued to us no matter where we go.
In that list, I want you to write down everything that you like and love about yourself. It can be anything from accomplishments to qualities to parts of your body you admire whenever you see your reflection.
I want you to be your biggest fan while creating this.
Here are some questions to help you think of what to write:
When did you feel most proud of yourself?
What unique skills do you have?
What do your friends/family admire most about you?
What do strangers compliment you most about?
Who have you helped in the past year, and how did you help them?
When did you try something scary, and it went well?
Don’t be afraid to brag. Nothing is too big or too small for this list. I want you to write down the most badass description of yourself and everything that makes you feel good about who you are.
Once your list is made, pull it out whenever someone else’s actions trigger you and whenever you doubt how amazing you are.
When your insecurities take control of your thoughts, it’s easy only to think negatively. Your confidence list is a tool to help you refocus on reality and remember how incredible you are.
This week’s activity: Create your confidence list! (pretty straightforward). If you have any questions, reply and let me know!
Until next week ❤️
All the love,
Kirstie
Content You’ll Love:
Why Relationships Don’t Have to be 50/50
Tactics to Have Tough Conversations and Grow Closer
How to Be Single in a Relationship
7 Ways You May Be Damaging Your Relationship