How to date like you're not for everyone ❤️
Hey, hopeful romantic!
Last week I talked about rejection and how to re-frame it into incompatibility. Going off your responses, it resonated with a lot of you!
This week, let's elaborate a little further. I want to stick with this notion that, with dating comes inevitable mismatches.
Boiled down: you're not for everyone; just like everyone is not for you!
Yet, many people date trying to attract everyone in hopes they'll match with more people. So they hide unique hobbies, try to say the right thing, and act like someone far from themselves on dates.
But there are two problems with that dating method:
Your potential matches aren't seeing the real you from the get-go.
You're not dating from a place where you believe in your self-worth.
If your goal in dating is to find someone who loves you for you, why would you try to hide parts of yourself? Say you love painting mini action figures (real story-- I dated a guy who did this). If you're worried that people will find that embarrassing and automatically swipe left on you, then you're putting yourself in a position of matching with a lot of people who will see your hobby as embarrassing.
Which, if it's your passion, is going to really suck not having a supportive partner.
Meanwhile, if painting action figures is something you want your future partner to not only tolerate but admire about you, then why on earth wouldn't you put it in your dating profile or talk about it on a first date??
Also, by hiding your hobby like it's something shameful, you're not seeing your worth exactly as you are. You subconsciously tell yourself that you must be smaller to fit into other people's lives.
And that's not how we date around here!
So the next time you feel like you need to hide something "embarrassing" or think your dating profile won't be attractive to enough people, I want you to take a step back.
You're not for everyone, and that's okay. You're better off dating like you're only a great match with a few people and focusing your energy on them.
Let me know your thoughts on this by replying to this email!
Until next week! All the love,
I have 2 spots open for 1:1 dating coaching! Book a free call to talk more here.
If you want to feel more secure in your love life, check out my Anxious Attachment Workshop.
Did you know I wrote a book about love? Grab your copy here.
Content You’ll Love:
Building Compassion For Relationship Anxiety With Kirstie Taylor
6 Dating App Tips To Try If You're Looking For A Serious Relationship
How to Get Over an Unexpected Breakup and Move On
Getting Rejected Probably Has Nothing To Do With You—Here’s How To Not Take It So Personally
On Boundaries and Accountability, Part 2
Technology Can Make Your Relationships Shallower
Would you stop dating someone your parents didn’t like?
Hi! I’m Kirstie
I help anxious people who don’t feel good enough for love understand their worth and find fulfilling love.
For over a decade, I was in one relationship after another with people who mistreated me or were emotionally unavailable. All of that ended when I took a year break from dating and read a book called Attached.
Learning about attachment styles changed my life. It opened doors like discovering my lack of boundaries and inability to ask for my needs to be met.
Today, I write and coach to help people through the same journey. You don’t have to feel so anxious, insecure, and uncertain when it comes to love.
I want to help you feel confident and find the love you deserve.
Want to work together? Book a call here to chat and see if we’d be a good fit!
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