For The Anxiously Attached Person In Your Life ❤️

Jun 18, 2021

Hi hopeful romantic,

Most people know at least one anxiously attached person in their life (for me, it’s myself 😂). Maybe for you, that person is yourself, too.

Regardless of who the anxiously attached person is, support goes a LONG way on their journey to feel more secure. This is exactly what I want to talk about this week.

Now, don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying someone else can do the work to make an anxiously attached person secure. But I am saying that other people in their life can be supportive on their healing journey.

So if you’re anxiously attached, send this to your partner or friend.

If someone you love is the anxious one, use these tips to help understand and support them.

Small doses of reassurance go a long way.

You might assume the people closest to you know you love or appreciate them, but that’s not always the case. Anxiously attached minds trick them into fearing worst-case scenarios, so a bit of reassurance here and there (but not indulging in all of their anxieties) goes a long way.

Don’t talk about breaking up or hang up and ignore them.

Unless you want to break up, please don’t talk about it. Also, think twice about getting mad and hanging up on an anxiously attached person. For you, both of those things might seem like no big deal, but for them, they’re devastating.

Look out for signs that they’re triggered.

If an anxiously attached person is over-worrying, silent, talking a lot, or scared, that could mean they’re triggered. They should calm down before trying to talk about things or make big decisions.

Be consistent.

Keep showing up as the amazing partner or friend that you are. It means a lot to them.

If you’re going to be extra busy, communicate that.

This applies to relationships: instead of going quiet all day because you have an extra busy workday, shoot them a text to let them know what’s up.

Don’t invalidate their feelings.

They feel what they feel. You’ll only make things harder by telling an anxiously attached person they’re irrational.

Know that we don’t like the way we act either sometimes.

It’s not easy having an anxious attachment. It doesn’t always feel good. So it might be difficult for you at times but know that it’s even more difficult for them.

This week’s activity: Text your anxiously attached friend/partner and ask how you can support them. Or, if you’re the anxious one, forward this email to someone close to you so they can better understand you.

Until next week ❤️

All the love,

Kirstie