I currently have a Tiktok gaining traction for all the wrong reasons.
You can check the video out here, but people are upset that I’m telling women to match a man’s effort at the beginning of dating.
I filmed this video because women tell me that they wait around for confirmation texts or to hear their date had a good time. Meanwhile, my guy friends explain that if they don’t hear from a woman, they assume she’s not interested.
Both sides wait for each other’s text until things fizzle out.
I also caution women when expecting men to put in all the effort at the beginning of dating because it sets unequal dynamics for a relationship.
The first reason is that it’s not sustainable for one person to carry the relationship; the woman will be disappointed when things inevitably change.
The second reason is that it’s giving your power away.
The power should be equal between both people.
Not to mention, it’s silly to expect anyone to invest a lot into you before they even know you. If they did that with every date, they went on, that would be a lot of money and a ton of disappointment.
So the next time you’re waiting on a Friday morning to see if your Bumble match texts you to confirm your date or you’re wondering if that guy you met for drinks had a good time, consider sending a text yourself.
Dating is a hard enough journey to go through (especially online dating) regardless of what gender you identify as.
Let me know your thoughts on this! I’d love to hear from men, women, and anyone else! My inbox is always open.
Until next week!
All the love,
If you want to feel more secure in your love life, check out my Anxious Attachment Workshop.
Did you know I wrote a book about love? Grab your copy here.
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Hi! I’m Kirstie
I help anxious people who don’t feel good enough for love understand their worth and find fulfilling love.
For over a decade, I was in one relationship after another with people who mistreated me or were emotionally unavailable. All of that ended when I took a year break from dating and read a book called Attached.
Learning about attachment styles changed my life. It opened doors like discovering my lack of boundaries and inability to ask for my needs to be met.
Today, I write and coach to help people through the same journey. You don’t have to feel so anxious, insecure, and uncertain when it comes to love.
I want to help you feel confident and find the love you deserve.
Have a specific dating struggle you want to work with me on? Book a 1:1 session here.
I think men should make the effort. Romance adds a touch of class. Certainly, there can be game-playing at times. It's the risk you take for love. You just have to take your chances and follow the vibes.