Been Single for a Long Time? This One is for You

Dec 03, 2021

Hey hopeful romantic,

I’ll be the first to say that love is VERY alluring.

I understand that it’s fucking draining to want love but not find it. Especially when everyone around you is coupled up, or you spent Thanksgiving being asked, “why are you still single??”

It’s easy to lose hope and think a relationship may never happen for you. So this week’s newsletter is specifically for anyone who’s losing their last sliver of sanity after being single for a long time.

Remember that there are upsides and downsides to both sides of this coin.

During those nights where you desperately wish you had someone to binge Netflix shows with, remember that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

Couples still argue. They compromise. They annoy the fuck out of each other. Plenty of people are in stressful relationships that hold them back.

Love isn’t something you want to rush.

Circling back to what I just mentioned, many people rush into relationships that aren’t right for them. They’re so focused on “fixing” the “problem” of being single, they don’t consider what they’re signing up for (or who they’re signed up with.)

Ever wonder why the divorce rate is so high?

People who get into relationships later in life tend to be happier and find a partner with who they thrive. Finding love might take time, but it's better to take it slow than force it.

Hang out more with your single friends.

If I desperately wanted to have a kid but, for whatever reason, couldn't, I’d be creating a personal hell by hanging out with only my mom friends. The same goes for your situation, too.

If you only hang out with your friends in relationships, of course, you’ll feel like there’s something wrong with your love life. Instead, spend time with people who are also single. Better yet, find friends who are single and thriving.

Your negative beliefs aren’t helping and most likely aren’t true.

If you find yourself thinking, “I’ll never find love,” or “No one wants to date me,” you could end up in a self-fulfilling prophecy. Think about it: your beliefs drive your actions. So if you think people will leave you, you might do things to speed up that process.

Plus, these negative beliefs aren’t true. You’re not a psychic. So try to change your thoughts around being single because, frankly, they aren’t helping.

Enjoy your single life to the fullest.

When you spend time doing the things you love, you attract people who love that energy. Plus, you’re more likely to find someone who wants the authentic you.

Go on dates if that’s what you want but also schedule time for hobbies, friends, and any goals you have.

If you’re struggling with your singledom, pick one of the above tips and stick with it for the week. See how things go and if it helps you feel a bit more confident on your love journey.

Until next week!

All the love,

Kirstie