A Holiday Self-Love Exercise

Because you'll always be the person who can take care of yourself best.

Hey hopeful romantics,

I hope your holidays are going amazing or, at the very least, you’re getting some much needed R&R.

For many of you, the holidays may be different this year than the way they looked last year, so I wanted to take this week’s newsletter to talk about some holiday TLC. Because, even before the whole pandemic, the holidays aren’t a joyful time for everyone.

They can be stressful. They can be downright depressing. And I want to help, even if it’s just a tiny bit.

But before I dive into that, I want to make a quick announcement…

I have an EXCITING announcement. The platform I use to send this newsletter, Substack, is having its first conference, and they invited me to speak on a panel.

Ya girl (that’s me) is going to be part of the first Substack On!

I’ll be talking about giving advice to readers, and it would mean the world to me if you were there (virtually, of course).

Now back to this week’s content…

It’s a lofty belief that everyone’s holidays will be Hallmark-worthy this year (or any year). If you’re one of those people who couldn’t go home for holidays, would rather be anywhere but home, or are missing someone who isn’t in your life anyone, then you’d benefit from taking care of yourself a little extra this week.

Let’s be real: that looks different for everyone. In my case, taking care of myself means talking to my friends and going for extra walks. It means using my phone less and reading more.

For other, it can mean prioritizing a strenuous workout or intense yoga flow. It could mean journaling your thoughts or standing up for yourself when Aunt Karen makes a snide remark about your life choices.

It could mean going for a walk when everything feels like too much (even if that’s in the middle of dinner). It could be engaging in the traditions of people who are no longer able to celebrate with you.

What I want you to do right now (you can even reply to this email and share them with me) is write down at least 10 ways you can help yourself feel better during stressful, sad, or anxious moments.

Don’t get me wrong: this isn’t to ignore your feelings. It’s simply a way to self-soothe and gets you through hard times.

You’d be surprised how many people don’t know what things can help make them feel better. Or that they even have the option to step away from or self-soothe during upsetting scenarios.

I’m keeping this newsletter short and sweet because I’m sure some people are busy, but when things become overwhelming, pull out your list and pick one of the ways to make you feel better.

Then do it. Repeat this until you feel even the slightest bit better.

I know this newsletter sounds a bit cliche (do the things you love to feel better!), but sometimes, it really is that simple.

If anything, all of us could use a bit more love in our lives this year. And that doesn’t mean we have to go out and try to take it from people; you can create love in your own life.

This exercise might not make the pandemic disappear or reunite you with your family or get Aunt Karen to stop making awkward remarks about your new boyfriend, but it can help you make reality a bit more bearable.

If anyone is having a tough time this year, shoot me an email (aka just reply to this email). I’m more than happy to talk, and I have the flexibility to be able to.

I hope this helped, even if it was short and to the point. I promise, just because things might be hard or stressful now doesn’t mean they’ll forever be.

Until next week my lovely reader ❤️

All the love,


Content I Loved:

Hey Man: My Girlfriend Wants Me to Text All the Time When I'm Away

Intimacy Versus Isolation: How To Navigate This Tricky Development Stage and Form Healthier Relationships

Don’t Isolate Yourself This Holiday Season

Auditioning for the Role of Boyfriend

6 Tiny Love Stories for the Holiday Season

Dating with Depression (Podcast)

Articles I Wrote:

6 Reminders For When Things Feel Too Difficult To Keep Going

7 Unhealthy Relationship Habits People Think Are Normal

5 Scientifically-Proven Ways Happy Couples Help Their Relationships Thrive

This Is Why You Can’t Get Over Your Ex (And How To Change That)

Book Update:

*If you're new to this newsletter and my work, I'm currently writing on a book, What I Wish I Knew About Love, that's set to come out early 2021 with Thought Catalog Books.*

My manuscript is being sent in for its last round of edits. These are, what’s known as, copyedits. Essentially everything from missed punctuation to misspelled words.

Things are moving quickly!