4 Communication Habits To Avoid

Nov 05, 2021

Hey hopeful romantic,

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OK, enough about clothes. I’ll get to why I’m in your inbox this week:

Through decades of research, relationship psychologist John Gottman found that four unhealthy communication habits can predict the end of a relationship. He coined them the Four Horsemen.

Let’s go over each of them:

Criticism - Instead of focusing on the issue at hand or how you’re feeling, you attack your partner’s character.
Defensiveness - When your partner brings up an issue, you quickly shift the blame or avoid saying sorry. This commonly follows criticism and can create a vicious cycle.
Contempt - Think of this as anything disrespectful or trying to create a power imbalance during an argument. Examples are rolling your eyes, mocking your partner, calling them names, or sarcasm.
Stonewalling - When things become heated, you withdraw and don’t give your partner any warning. You might look away and avoid eye contact, or you storm out of the room.

These four communication habits can slowly eat away at your relationship. They keep you from solving issues and showing one another respect.

Next week I’ll go over how to change these communication habits and healthier alternatives. But for now, start to notice if you do any of these.

Until next week!

All the love,

Kirstie