How to feel like yourself during a pandemic
Hey everyone,
Our new normal has changed in a matter of weeks. And to say that's jarring would be the understatement of the year. We're all having to adapt quickly.
I feel like an ant whose anthill was just stepped on by a bratty kid at the park.
I'm frazzled. Worried. Anxious. And running around trying to fix what I can.
But, for me, I can't do much, seeing as I'm quarantining at my boyfriend's family's house. I have a suitcase's worth of clothes and a camper van's worth of overthinking.
One being, how in the world do I maintain my sense of identity during quarantine?
Whether you're isolating with your partner or riding this pandemic out solo, it's kinda hard right now to do things that make you feel like you. You can't go out with friends. There's no yoga class to attend. And the lack of coffee shop runs is personally leaving me feining for an oat milk latte and a solid people-watching sesh (yes, coffee and creeping is part of my identity).
The first and second weeks of isolation were basically test-runs. I woke up thinking I needed to do things a certain way: coffee, write, lunch, attempt to write more, read articles, get sucked into Instagram, feel guilty about being on Instagram, try to write more, eat dinner, watch HGTV with my boyfriend, sleep.
Then wake up and do it all again.
But this week, I realized I needed to do more of what makes me feel like me. Sure I can't go to a coffee shop, but I can read more. I can watch a show like The Bold Type without my partner. I can swim just for fun, FaceTime my friends, draw, take a bath.
While getting work done and going after your goals is great, you must do the things that make you feel like you. Your identity is important. And during these crazy times, you can't afford to lose it.
As I ate lunch today, I thought: without my identity, who am I you really?
The answer is simple:
Just another person on the Zoom call. Another person feeling like a victim of this crisis. Another person susceptible to overwhelm caused by all the scary shit that's happening.
Without my identity, I'm not grounded. I'm floating up in the air, trying to grasp at things that aren't there. I'm in the grey middle. Not living, simply surviving.
Prioritizing my needs more this week has proven worthwhile. I can escape into a great book or spend hours drawing. Sure, these things don't solve the world's problems. But they help me feel better.
And seeing as there's currently not much we can do aside from stay inside, I'd say maintaining our happiness is a pretty damn good contribution.
So get creative and figure out things you can do at home that you love. Think of some friends you haven't talked to in a while and give them a call. Tell your partner that you want to skip your nightly HGTV sesh in favor of binging a show alone.
In simpler terms:
Here's some helpful content…
Feeling like you're grieving or extra lonely during this time is entirely normal. And if being single is harder than usual, you'll want to check out this piece. Being on lockdown with your boo-thang might be causing problems; indulge in some of Esther Perel's advice for couples. Bring a bit more positivity into your life and add a bit of meaning to all of this.
Until next week my lovely readers.
All the love,
Kirstie
P.S. If you're a writer and interested in a writer's group, shoot me an email to wordswithkirstie@gmail.com! My friend Eva and I host writing meetups and we're taking things digital.
This Week's…
Articles I Wrote:
A Guide to Overcoming an Anxious Attachment Style
Spend This Time Re-Learning How to Enjoy Life
9 Expectations Holding You Back From A Relationship
How Using The Term "We" Can Improve Your Relationship
Content I loved:
Why Are My Dreams So Vivid Right Now?
New Research Explains Why All Your Relationships Turn Out the Same
Why You're Still Friends With People You Hate
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